Apologies

“It's not a person's mistakes that define them. It's the way they make amends." - Freya North. You know, I feel pretty good about my ability and willingness to forgive people. I don't hold grudges, and I believe people change. Forgiveness comes relatively easy to me. However, it's the saying I'm sorry that I seem to struggle with. I think it's because I hold myself to an incredibly high standard, and when I fail, I take it very personally. I don't feel "I failed", but rather "I'm a failure." I'm working on this, however. People have come into my life to remind me that it's okay to make mistakes. It's how we handle these mistakes after they happen that is truly important.

Today, I try to follow the three rules of a proper apology - 1) I'm sorry; 2) It's my fault; 3) What can I do to make it right? - If I can follow these three rules, I give myself a great gift: the freedom of knowing I have taken care of my part. I do what I can to make things right again. I take the lesson of my mistake and hopefully don't repeat it. Then I let it go. It is up to the other person to forgive or not forgive. I can rest, knowing I've done my part, knowing that I may have failed, but I'm not a failure. I have a long way to go on this still. But I hope that as time goes on, and I learn more and experience safe places to be sorry, I can learn that it's okay to be wrong. Being wrong doesn't mean I'm a failure.