She didn't have to describe it. I knew exactly what she meant, and she was exactly right. It's this FEELING. The people, the energy. It's the closeness, the relationship to the music and the musicians. Feeling the music inside you, instead of just hearing it. I'll never stop going to concerts. And god-willing, I'll go to more with her. Something happens to people at a concert. Something pure and beautiful and free. For just a couple hours, we all forget our lives "out there". We all come together to celebrate a common love of music. We all let ourselves go. We all just BE.
So I must be open to trusting it again and again, risking the pain again and again, experiencing the ecstasy again and again. And until the time is right and the Universe decides to gift me with another love, I will love myself fiercely and become a woman who would deserve the kind of love I desire.
I'm learning how to stand up for myself and trust myself. I'm learning that I can have a happy life in spite of a less than perfect childhood. Today, I can trust the process of recovery to show me more of how I was affected by my childhood and in what ways it's up to me now to be my own guardian. My parents are not perfect. Just like I'm not perfect. They were hurt in their childhoods too. We are all just trying our best to make it. I'm choosing, with the help of a recovery program and my higher power, to not just survive, but to live a life beyond my wildest dreams.
And take care of yourself. Don't lose yourself in their problems. The Universe is working everything out perfectly and in perfect timing. Trust it!
Try to let go of them instead of holding onto them. Just acknowledge the thought and let it wash back out into the sea of the subconscious again. For five minutes, sit in this way, observing the thoughts come and go, like the tide. Be an observer without attachment. That's it! If you do this for five minutes, you've meditated for five minutes. Easy!
I'm just a traveler, a dreamer, like you.