When they were able to pull the boy's hand out, they saw it was clenched in a fist around something. That was why they could not get it back through the neck of the vase. Curious, they opened the boy's hand to see what had been so important that he wouldn't let go of. They peeled back his fingers to discover a bright shiny penny. The boy had seen the penny at the bottom of the vase and had reached in to pull it out. And because he didn't want to let go of the treasure he thought he found, he lost the priceless treasure meant for him.
Question: What are you holding onto that it's time to let go of? The Universe has a priceless treasure meant just for you. What bright shiny penny have you been desperately holding onto that is preventing you from receiving it?
However, there is still such a big part that is hidden behind the wall I built around myself years ago. I believe it will be one of my ongoing battles, to slowly chip away at this stupid wall. It has protected me long enough, served its purpose long enough. It's time to be fully me, live transparently, not hold back, let free the hidden child that so desperately wants to come out and play. Of course discernment is important. I believe not everyone has the right to see me at my most vulnerable. Trust needs to be earned first. But I guess therein lies the struggle. Half of me wants to live transparently, while the other half hides behind the wall, evaluating if I can trust. It's a balance. Thanks for letting me get deeply personal here today. Maybe some of you can relate. How have you been able to tear down your walls to live more freely in the world?
Today, I try to follow the three rules of a proper apology - 1) I'm sorry; 2) It's my fault; 3) What can I do to make it right? - If I can follow these three rules, I give myself a great gift: the freedom of knowing I have taken care of my part. I do what I can to make things right again. I take the lesson of my mistake and hopefully don't repeat it. Then I let it go. It is up to the other person to forgive or not forgive. I can rest, knowing I've done my part, knowing that I may have failed, but I'm not a failure. I have a long way to go on this still. But I hope that as time goes on, and I learn more and experience safe places to be sorry, I can learn that it's okay to be wrong. Being wrong doesn't mean I'm a failure.
While seeing this girl during my meditation, I was filled with love and compassion for her. I realized how fragile she was, and all the while she had tried to be so strong and brave, trying to convince herself that she couldn't feel the pain. My heart broke, and I cried and cried. I wrapped my arms around myself and told that broken teenager that I was so, so sorry. I told her that it's done; no longer will I neglect myself and my needs. No longer will I treat myself or LET myself be treated badly. I told her I will take care of her now. I will no longer settle for 'less than'.
I urge you, if you have never done a healing meditation for your inner child, to set aside some time to do it. It is one of the most cleansing, restorative, loving things you can do for yourself. I talk about how to do this in my new book. If you need additional help with it, contact me. Lots of love, friends!
Are you holding onto a resentment today that needs to be cleaned up? Do you need to tell someone you're sorry and change your ways? I urge you to do what it takes to keep your conscience clear. After all... "A clear conscience makes the softest pillow." And man, how I love my sleep!
Where are you hurting today? What is the Universe trying to teach you? If you learn the lesson THIS time, there won't have to be a NEXT time.
I'm learning how to stand up for myself and trust myself. I'm learning that I can have a happy life in spite of a less than perfect childhood. Today, I can trust the process of recovery to show me more of how I was affected by my childhood and in what ways it's up to me now to be my own guardian. My parents are not perfect. Just like I'm not perfect. They were hurt in their childhoods too. We are all just trying our best to make it. I'm choosing, with the help of a recovery program and my higher power, to not just survive, but to live a life beyond my wildest dreams.
And take care of yourself. Don't lose yourself in their problems. The Universe is working everything out perfectly and in perfect timing. Trust it!
The Serenity Prayer says "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I CANNOT change, the courage to change the things I CAN, and the wisdom to know the difference." I was thinking about how many things we have the power to change. I cannot change other people. Sometimes I can't change certain situations. Those things I must accept.
But MY life, my behavior, my perspective, my financial situation, the people I hang out with, my education, work, the way I relate to people, my hopes and dreams??? I CAN change all those things. And if I ask my higher power for the courage to change the things I CAN, then imagine what kind of power comes into play! Not only can I make these changes, but I have all the Universe behind me. We are incredibly powerful!
I know that all things that come to me are meant for me. I will continue to pray for knowledge of my higher power's will for my life. As long as I continue to pray for a revelation of my destiny, INSTEAD of specific outcomes, then I can trust I'm on the right path.
I'm just a traveler, a dreamer, like you.