My Beautiful Daydream

The Child Inside

12/16/2016

My daughter was recently telling me about the relationship she has with her boyfriend, that she can tell him anything, absolutely anything. She doesn't hold back. She is completely herself. I told her to treasure that. I am 38 years old and have never had that relationship with anyone. There are people that have come close to discovering all of me, but I always hold back something, some secret hidden part of me. Yesterday, I heard a woman talking about how she doesn't hide herself anymore. She lives her life totally transparently. There is a part of me that wants that. I crave that freedom terribly.

However, there is still such a big part that is hidden behind the wall I built around myself years ago. I believe it will be one of my ongoing battles, to slowly chip away at this stupid wall. It has protected me long enough, served its purpose long enough. It's time to be fully me, live transparently, not hold back, let free the hidden child that so desperately wants to come out and play. Of course discernment is important. I believe not everyone has the right to see me at my most vulnerable. Trust needs to be earned first. But I guess therein lies the struggle. Half of me wants to live transparently, while the other half hides behind the wall, evaluating if I can trust. It's a balance. Thanks for letting me get deeply personal here today. Maybe some of you can relate. How have you been able to tear down your walls to live more freely in the world?

The Tragedy of Life

12/15/2016

A friend of mine lost her daughter last night to an overdose. The day before that, another friend lost the father of her children. My sister, unfortunately, had to walk through both of those experiences a while back. The mother of a 13-year-old boy in my neighborhood is mourning the loss of her son to suicide yesterday. My heart is heavy today, thinking of death and loss. I remember, however, when my niece died, how my family pulled together. We are closer today then we ever have been. I also remember putting things in order, getting my priorities straight.

Small annoyances didn't mean anything to me. I just wanted to love people. Love them while they were here, while I was here. Put down any grudges. Forgive. I wanted to do things I'd never done before but always wanted to. I wrote a book. Time was all the sudden very important to me. I realized what a short time we all have. I realized I'd better get to living.

We all have our own beliefs about what happens after this life. But while we're here, let's live. Live fully, love fully, tell people what they mean to you, forgive someone, ask for forgiveness. Don't wait. Don't wait for any of it.

Find Your Tribe

12/1/2016

Find your people! If you are a startup entrepreneur, surround yourself with successful business minds. If you want to lose weight, surround yourself with thin people. If you are a meditating sage with a mission to raise the vibration of the world, surround yourself with other soul warriors.

Whatever your mission, find your tribe! Raise the bar. Set a new standard. If you are the wealthiest, the fittest, or the most peaceful in your tribe, the demand on you to grow won't be quite as strong. And that is the purpose of life, isn't it? To keep growing?

You are either growing or dying, after all. Jim Rohn said "'You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Who are your five?

True Friends

11/24/2016

I've been blessed in my life to have friends (and sisters!) that have brought me back to life several times. They recognized my pain without me even having to say anything. When I said, "I'm fine," they said, "That's bullshit." They dug, they pried, they asked questions, they demanded honesty. They didn't give up. And in the process, they saved my life. They showed me what friendship is. They showed me what love is. And for that I'm truly blessed.

Tag a friend and say thank you!

The Universe is Always in Balance

11/10/2016

Find the good today. It's always there. Sometimes you've just gotta look a little harder, but in every situation, it's always there. The Universe strives always for constant balance, and we, being part of the Universe, strive for constant balance too. If you are having a tough time being in balance today, do these three things:

1) Close your eyes and breathe
2) Think of all the things you are grateful for in your life and smile, smile big! Your body chemistry responds when you smile

3) If you are struggling in a situation, brainstorm at least one good thing that might come from the situation. If you can't find one, think of some time in the past when you were in a bad situation, and remember one good thing that came out of it. It will give you hope that there will be something good to come out of this one too.

Remember! Your feelings come from what you focus on. There will always be good and bad; neither lasts forever. It's about what we focus on that creates our mood for the day. Focus on the good!

New Moon Meditation

11/3/2016

Today marks the New Moon phase of the lunar cycle. During the New Moon, the moon is invisible to us, as the sun shines on the part we typically refer to as the "dark side of the moon". As a symbol for life, we can say that it is shining on the parts of us that we don't typically show to the world - our dark side, our dreams and fears that we hide from others. Carl Jung calls this our Shadow. We can ask our higher power during this time to bring forth the dreams we have kept hidden and to shine the light on fears we have that need to be dispelled. New Moon carries an enormous amount of energy with it, and to tap into some of this energy, you can practice a New Moon meditation.

Here's how:

Sit in meditation and ask your higher power to reveal to you the shadow parts of yourself that are ready to be illuminated.
Write down a dream you've been carrying. Write down a project you want to start working on or a goal you want to achieve.
Write down any shadow parts of your character you are ready to show to the world.
Meditate again to ask your higher power to bring your dreams and shadow self into illumination over the next two weeks of the lunar cycle, as the moon becomes whole again.
Place your list into the flow of the Universe by planting it in the earth as a seed to grow, or throwing it into the ocean to be impressed upon with the lunar tide.

Happy meditating!

Apologies

10/25/2016

“It's not a person's mistakes that define them. It's the way they make amends." - Freya North. You know, I feel pretty good about my ability and willingness to forgive people. I don't hold grudges, and I believe people change. Forgiveness comes relatively easy to me. However, it's the saying I'm sorry that I seem to struggle with. I think it's because I hold myself to an incredibly high standard, and when I fail, I take it very personally. I don't feel "I failed", but rather "I'm a failure." I'm working on this, however. People have come into my life to remind me that it's okay to make mistakes. It's how we handle these mistakes after they happen that is truly important.

Today, I try to follow the three rules of a proper apology - 1) I'm sorry; 2) It's my fault; 3) What can I do to make it right? - If I can follow these three rules, I give myself a great gift: the freedom of knowing I have taken care of my part. I do what I can to make things right again. I take the lesson of my mistake and hopefully don't repeat it. Then I let it go. It is up to the other person to forgive or not forgive. I can rest, knowing I've done my part, knowing that I may have failed, but I'm not a failure. I have a long way to go on this still. But I hope that as time goes on, and I learn more and experience safe places to be sorry, I can learn that it's okay to be wrong. Being wrong doesn't mean I'm a failure.

Shine

10/24/2016

You know who you are. The people with the rough childhoods, unfair beginnings, who climbed their way to peace despite a life that could justify cynicism. Those who lost people close to them along the way, taken too soon, and choose to still have faith that life is worth living and Higher Power is worth trusting. And the people who have loved with every piece of their souls, who have experienced the agony of heartbreak, and still give love freely to everyone they meet. To those people and more who have been broken by a broken world yet rise every day to face it all again, discover it all again, trust it all again, and shine. You go, you freakin' warrior you.

Loving My Inner Child

10/15/2016

I had a very powerful meditation last night. I went in with the intention to remember some things from my past that I have no memory of; anything that could be affecting my happiness and peace today. I expected to go back to my very young years to discover things people had done to hurt me. Instead, I was shown ways that I had hurt myself. I was shown my adolescence and young adulthood, when I had neglected my own needs, built an impenetrable wall around me, and lost touch with my feelings completely. I blotted out my life with drugs and alcohol and men. I let people treat me terribly. I always settled for 'less than' because I thought I was 'less than'.

While seeing this girl during my meditation, I was filled with love and compassion for her. I realized how fragile she was, and all the while she had tried to be so strong and brave, trying to convince herself that she couldn't feel the pain. My heart broke, and I cried and cried. I wrapped my arms around myself and told that broken teenager that I was so, so sorry. I told her that it's done; no longer will I neglect myself and my needs. No longer will I treat myself or LET myself be treated badly. I told her I will take care of her now. I will no longer settle for 'less than'.

***

I urge you, if you have never done a healing meditation for your inner child, to set aside some time to do it. It is one of the most cleansing, restorative, loving things you can do for yourself. I talk about how to do this in my new book. If you need additional help with it, contact me. Lots of love, friends!

Full Moon Release Meditation

10/15/2016

Who else plans to do a Full Moon release meditation tonight?

The full moon symbolizes the culmination of the intentions you planted on the New Moon. Tonight's meditation involves writing down all the things you want to release over the following two weeks until the next new moon.

Here's what to do:

Wait until dark
Write down a list of old beliefs, people you want to break ties with, habits you want to give up, and anything else that is limiting you or holding you back
Now, get a glass/ceramic bowl and a lighter
Go outside into the moonlight
Sit in quiet meditation, thinking over the things you want to release and, one by one, giving them over to your higher power
Take the paper with your list, light the corner, place it in the bowl, and watch them burn
After the paper has burned, thank your higher power for taking these things from you
Meditate in the light of the full moon for as long as you want.

*Remember to dispose of the ashes safely.

Happy Meditating!