“It's not a person's mistakes that define them. It's the way they make amends." - Freya North. You know, I feel pretty good about my ability and willingness to forgive people. I don't hold grudges, and I believe people change. Forgiveness comes relatively easy to me. However, it's the saying I'm sorry that I seem to struggle with. I think it's because I hold myself to an incredibly high standard, and when I fail, I take it very personally. I don't feel "I failed", but rather "I'm a failure." I'm working on this, however. People have come into my life to remind me that it's okay to make mistakes. It's how we handle these mistakes after they happen that is truly important.
Today, I try to follow the three rules of a proper apology - 1) I'm sorry; 2) It's my fault; 3) What can I do to make it right? - If I can follow these three rules, I give myself a great gift: the freedom of knowing I have taken care of my part. I do what I can to make things right again. I take the lesson of my mistake and hopefully don't repeat it. Then I let it go. It is up to the other person to forgive or not forgive. I can rest, knowing I've done my part, knowing that I may have failed, but I'm not a failure. I have a long way to go on this still. But I hope that as time goes on, and I learn more and experience safe places to be sorry, I can learn that it's okay to be wrong. Being wrong doesn't mean I'm a failure.
While seeing this girl during my meditation, I was filled with love and compassion for her. I realized how fragile she was, and all the while she had tried to be so strong and brave, trying to convince herself that she couldn't feel the pain. My heart broke, and I cried and cried. I wrapped my arms around myself and told that broken teenager that I was so, so sorry. I told her that it's done; no longer will I neglect myself and my needs. No longer will I treat myself or LET myself be treated badly. I told her I will take care of her now. I will no longer settle for 'less than'.
I urge you, if you have never done a healing meditation for your inner child, to set aside some time to do it. It is one of the most cleansing, restorative, loving things you can do for yourself. I talk about how to do this in my new book. If you need additional help with it, contact me. Lots of love, friends!
Here's what to do:
*Remember to dispose of the ashes safely.
Are you holding onto a resentment today that needs to be cleaned up? Do you need to tell someone you're sorry and change your ways? I urge you to do what it takes to keep your conscience clear. After all... "A clear conscience makes the softest pillow." And man, how I love my sleep!
Where are you hurting today? What is the Universe trying to teach you? If you learn the lesson THIS time, there won't have to be a NEXT time.
I'm just a traveler, a dreamer, like you.